Real Employee Evaluations !

These individual quotes were taken from actual employee performance evaluations in a large US Corporation.

• 1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom...and has started to dig."
• 2. "His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity."
• 3. "I would not allow this employee to breed."
• 4. "This employee is really not so much of a 'has-been', but more of a definite 'won't be'."
• 5. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."
• 6. "When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet."
• 7. "He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."
• 8. "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."
• 9. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."
• 10. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."
• 11. "This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better."
• 12. "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together."
• 13. "A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."
• 14. "He certainly takes a long time to make his pointless."
• 15. "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."
• 16. "I would like to go hunting with him sometime."
• 17. "He's been working with glue too much."
• 18. "He would argue with a signpost."
• 19. "He has a knack for making stranger immediately."
• 20. "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."
• 21. "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."
• 22. "If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one."
• 23. "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."
• 24. "A prime candidate for natural deselection."
• 25. "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."
• 26. "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."
• 27. "Has two brains: one is lost and the other is out looking for it."
• 28. "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."
• 29. "If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."
• 30. "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the oceans."
• 32. "One neuron short of a synapse."
• 33. "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."
• 34. "Takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes."
• 35. "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."