Hi Guys...Practice These and Never Lose Your Woman!

1. THE SHRINE: When stroking a woman's clit, don't grab it like a bus rail and start jerking it like you were milking a cow. Don't use the clitoris as if it's a piece of gym equipment to strengthen the forearms. The female organ is a thing of wonder and beauty, and should be honored and held tenderly at all times. The sensitive part is at the top (where your face should be), not two-thirds of the way into the vagina.

2. THE PORTALS: A woman's labia are remarkable aesthetic achievements of nature to be treated gently. Don't squeeze them as you would squeeze water from a sponge. If you have rough nails pull them off with pliers before even looking at the labia.

3. ROBOTS: When licking a woman's clit, don't just get on the end of the thing and jam your head back and forth. It's an exquisite instrument; it should be caressed, inspected, kissed and licked from every angle.

4. DOING YOUR JOB: If you've come too quickly, make every effort to see to it she does too, no matter how tired you are. This is your function in life.

5. LAP IT UP: If a woman is willing to take the trouble to come in your mouth, don't lose a drop. She wants you to share this ecstatic moment of joyful union with her. Her "love juices" are not likely to poison you in most cases - but this is a risk you should be prepared to take for her happiness.

6. POOR PRESENTATION: Presentation is all important. Don't wait to be asked to eat her. Get your head between her legs and do what you were put on Earth to do.You know you love it.

7. HANGING AROUND: When she is done, you should not kiss and cuddle, she does not want to touch you. You should leave the bed and leave her in peace. If you are a one-night stand you should leave the premises with out stealing anything or asking for a phone number.

8. BEING A PAIN IN THE ASS: Never ask for anal sex. Most women don't like it. If she does, she will tell you, then, and only then may you even dream of it.

9. BEING A DRIP: You always have tissues in your pocket, use them to clean her sheets and any scrotal drippage if you have misbehaved and not lapped up everything.

10. LACK OF MAINTENANCE: Never ask a woman if she likes your body as you will force her to lie. Women don't like fat, beer-gutted guys. Get in the gym and lose some weight, build up those shoulders and tighten those buns and thighs. There is no such thing as the perfect body. 99.6 per cent of women say that even Mel, Brad, Matt, Harrison et. al. could stand to work out more, so what chance have you got?

11. CLOCK-WATCHING: Never, ever, ever, ever even think of asking; "Are you going to come soon?" If you're eating her, you'd have to take your mouth off to utter the question. If you're giving a hand-job, you should have gone to the gym to work your biceps. If she's banging you and it takes more than 20 minutes you should be grateful. This is not a time trial but a blissful act of union between two sexually aware human beings with an incredible gift.

12. FISHING FOR COMPLIMENTS: Don't ask her if you're the best lover she's ever had. Most women have had so many sexual partners that it is unlikely that you are. Please don't ask a woman to lie about such an important thing.

13. PLAYING DEAD: Don't just lie there, do something. Good sex is not a spectator sport and it helps if both parties move around a bit. I know you expect the women to do all the hard and skillful work. We don't mind that and we're blessed with the equipment and know-how to do it but at least put some effort into the act to show your appreciation.

14. BEING POSSESSIVE: Most women can satisfy two (or more) men at a time, so don't sneer at or reject her exciting suggestion that one of your male friends joins you to make up a threesome. If she's a real woman she's probably screwing him anyway. Plus you might learn something from him to keep your woman really happy.

15. SHAVE YOUR FACE: Don't shave your pubic hair off. It makes your genitalia look like chicken neck past its sell-by date. At best, it looks like the pubes of a ten-year-old. If you want to trim, do it neatly and inconspicuously, in the manner favored by the Playgirl models that your woman would rather be screwing.

16. SPITTING IT OUT: When a woman has gone to so much trouble to have an orgasm and get her juice right into your mouth, it is rude to spit it out without savoring the taste.

17. INGRATITUDE: Never forget to thank a woman for all the effort and energy she has expended on making love to you. A woman' s role in sex is far more demanding than a man's so it is always nice when one's prowess is appreciated.

18. SEEKING FAVORS: Never contemplate taking advantage of your woman's warm after-sex glow to seek favors or make requests. As she drops off into well-deserved slumber, resist the urge to ask: "Do you think I could borrow a couple hundred dollars tomorrow?" there is a name for the practice of mixing sex with material gain - prostitution.

19. BED-RIDDEN: Too many men fail in bed because they insist on being IN BED. Very few countries have statutes limiting horseplay to a designated room. Let yourself go with some sex in the study, bonking in the bathroom and kinkiness in the kitchen. If you're lucky, your woman might imagine she's balling someone sexy and adventurous and she might manage a tighter, more exciting grip on your penis.

20. CARING, NOT SHARING: While it is understandable that you would be excited after receiving a mouthful of girl-cum, do not be thoughtless in expressing your gratitude by kissing your woman on the lips. YOU like female juice, SHE doesn't. Be considerate, please.

21. NUDITY: Very few male bodies are good to look at so please make an effort to cover up as much as possible. If you've got a half-decent ass but no shoulders for example, wear a loose fitting shirt and stay bare below.

22. YOU CAN'T HURRY, LOVE: If a man is serious about good oral sex as part of foreplay, 20 minutes is the bare minimum required to give the subtle and complex clitoris a reasonable working over. Better allow for 45 minutes at least.

23. TWO DIMENSIONAL: It's not enough to be a specialist - even in the important skill of cunnilingus. To be regarded as a successful man in bed you must have a full portfolio of tricks. These should include a penchant for facial wetness and a familiarity with idiosyncrasies of your woman's anal, areolar, oral, vaginal, and clitoral regions.

24. OBSESSIVE: The male orgasm is over-rated so don't spoil her fun by insisting on having one every time you have sex.

25. THE BIG SWITCH (OFF): Nothing is worse than giving a woman some encouragement and then not finishing the job. Such encouragement might be the slightest brush against any part of her body. So if she's wet for you, you've got to deal with it and take things through to their natural conclusion.

26. WAKE-UP CALLER: Women have busy and demanding schedules so please understand if she should occasionally fall asleep while on the job. You should take it as a compliment that she feels so relaxed.

27. COVER UP: If you have lured a woman to bed under the guise of being well hung with a lot of staying power, and you aren't and don't, better tune up that tongue. It is important for men to remember that their #1 purpose for existing on this planet is the sexual satisfaction of women.